05 February 2012

Newt Gingrich spoke to me in a dream

Honestly! This is no political fable or joke at the former Speaker's expense. All I can say is that I dreamed last night that I had gone to the cafe across the street from my office because I had a hankering for dessert and I wanted some of their specialty ice cream -- except the place doesn't serve ice cream. In the dream they did, but they were out, so I had to settle for a pastry. I had just sat down when Gingrich came in from the rear entrance. This is not 100% implausible: the cafe's owner is the wife of the former mayor of Troy, New York, a Republican, so it might be the sort of place Gingrich (or any candidate) would go to meet local party leaders. Anyway, he goes up to the counter to place an order, then sits down at the table next to mine with a plateful of bacon. The bacon is stacked like it was pancakes. I can't turn down the opportunity to confront him, but I open with small talk, "How's the fight going, Mr. Gingrich?"

"Well, did you see the news?" he replies.

"I'm not sure which news you mean."

"They won't tell you the whole story."

"Okay, what's the whole story?"

The whole story is told with similar vagueness. The only detail I can recall is that Gingrich wanted it known that two cardinals "were there," wherever there was. I grew impatient to ask him some loaded questions, and I saw that Mr. Right was also in the place, so I would also have the chance to annoy him by humbling his idol. But I came down with a coughing fit, and by the time I drank some water to clear my throat, the coughing had woke me up. Having watched A Dangerous Method the other day, I wondered what Freud or Jung would make of this. I'm not sure what sexual symbolism Freud would find in either Newt Gingrich or a plate of bacon, not to mention my coughing fit, and while Jung would question whether there was any sexual context to it all, I'm even less sure of how he'd interpret these elements. All I know is that if I start dreaming about politicians, perhaps I'm paying too much attention to them. So of course the blog will continue as if nothing had happened, because I question whether dreams mean anything.


hobbyfan said...

Ohhhh, man. If Gingrich is haunting your dreams, Sammy, he's desperate.

Somehow, I see him in a remake of an old commercial for a certain fruit snack..........

Anonymous said...

"I'm Newt Gingrich and I endorse this dream."